A month ago we posted a story about Redditoffering to send a crowbarto the brains behind the Large Hadron Collider project. Many fear that the particle accelerator at Cern could cause the end of the world, and a possible resonance cascade — along with obligatoryHalf-Lifeheadcrab infestation, too.
Our very own Dyson claims that the Large Hadron Collider isn’t possible of causing any lasting damage to humanity, but his ways are the ways of folly. Those of us who actually play videogames that were releasedafter1983 know a little something aboutscience, and we’re preparing for the reign of The Combine.
Luckily, the Reddit lads who offered the crowbar that would save humanityhave now shippedit to CERN, along with a note that reads: “Get this to Gordon Freeman. He’ll know what to do.” When thanked for their service to humanity, the providers of the crowbar had only this to say:
We’re not heroes. We’re just doing our job.
Classy as Hell, gentlemen. Classy as Hell. Let us pray that the crowbar reaches Dr. Freeman in time to stave off the Xen hordes that this Collider willdefinitelyproduce.
