Will Smith (back when he was a non-threatening hip hop artist, instead of a non-threatening movie star) released a song calledSummertimealong with the Robin-to-his-Batman, DJ Jazzy Jeff (who you might remember from Will Smith’s sitcom, and absolutely nothing else). It was an urban ballad to the joys of summer. The cook outs, the 40’s of malt liquor, the fly-a@# b*tches in thongs… no, wait… that was Dr Dre’sLet Me Ride. Hell…
Ok, soSummertimeis really easily forgettable, and it may or may not have actually beenaboutthe summer time, but it brings me to a good point; summer has arrived.
The sun is out, flowers are blooming, giant insects are eating our children and the elderly are dying with impunity. While it may seem terrifying after 10 months of utter, Siberian darkness filled with kindly yetis and even more kindly St Bernards, I’m here to help you get through this rough, shiny, happy, deadly time.
Here are a few pointers to help you make it through.
It’s my sincere hope that these tips will help you to survive what may very well be your final days. God speed.
Ron Workman:Halo 3, and that new car game on XBLA. Thats it. Ohh,Lawsuit dodger 5000has been a blast. I watched Linde touch a kitten inappropriately last week. With all thats going on with Dtoid, I havent had time to play. We need to get Niero to play games also. He has been working so much on Community Blogs that he no play no games meng.
Nick “Brutal” Chester:I’m still playing throughSpider-Man 3on the Xbox 360. I’m not really enjoying it, but I don’t hate it enough to stop playing. I’m determined to see it through until the end — I will see see Venom, God damn it, even if it’s only for 12 seconds.
I’ve also been playing theWarhawkbeta which, when it’s not freezing my PlayStation 3, has been a lot of fun. Heads and legs have been ripped off while playingMortal Kombat: Armageddonon the Wii. Finally, my DS is seeing Sega’sFeel The Magic, thanks to Goozex user who goes by the name of “Gray Wolf.”
Oh, and I’m still playingManhunt(Xbox), but my progress has been stalled because I’m — what are the words I’m looking for here — oh, that’s right … getting bored with it.
Nexysnaps:I spent the entire week kayaking through the Bering Strait. It’s strange how many people know Russian up there …
Dick McVengeance:Hold it!Phoenix Wright 2just appeared on my doorstep, so there goes a lot of my free time from now on. Other than that, I’m slowly chugging throughSuper Paper Mario. I hate it when you’re on level 99 of the pit of 100 trials, and something randomly kills you, thus wasting the last hour of your life.
Colette Bennett:One game for the past week:PUZZLE QUEST. Oh God this game is so addictive, I can’t even find the words to describe it. Little doses of crack!!!
hushgush:ZOMGFORZA 2!! CAN’T TALK NOW, RACING, LEAVE MESSAGE PLZ KTHX!
At the tone, record your message. When you are finished, you may hang up, or find me on XBL for mulitplayer options.
Aaron Linde:I’m playingButt-Raped By Finals IV: The Reckoning.
Rev Anthony:I’m “playing”Seaman, as much as any person can actually play a virtual pet simulator narrated by Leonard Nimoy.I’m also playingGitaroo Manon the side, and I’ve become hopelessly addicted toUrban Dead, despite the fact that I absolutely hated it about a week ago.Jim Sterling:A few hours ofMario Strikers. Oh, and maybe three minutes ofSuper Mario Bros. 3. Yeah, it’s been a bad, bad week for video gaming.
Niero:A good friend of mine gave meRampagefor the Wii. The game has little depth but when you get for people in a room its a lot of fun. For example, the quickest way to break a building is to climb to the top and pound down on it (which requires the flailing of the wiimote as if you are beating a donkey) which may also cause friends to fly off of the edge and yell HE’S ASS RAPING ME! HE’S ASS RAPING ME! Good times. We also attempted to playCrystal Chroniclesfour players, but it required an intense network of gameboy advance hardware like the world has never seen. I also picked up a few demos likeForzaand beat the remasteredDouble Dragonon LIVE after 500 continues. I thought they did well with it, unlike theRush N Attackreprise that robs all seriousness from the game. I hope to start an ActRaiser code on my Wii later tonight and put in some more time intoOdin Sphere, which is SO FUCKING PRETTY!!!
Grim:Guitar Hero II,Mad Tracks, andMetal Slug 2were probably the only games I played this week. Finals have caused me to avoid all other addictive games that can’t be played for short periods of time. TheHalo 3 betacouldn’t have been released at a worse time for me.
gameboi:I’ve been doing theForza 2thing, as well as messing around withMario Party 8(nothing serious, so don’t call it an affair).Hamsa “CTZ” Aziz:I beatedThe Suffering 2Friday night. Everything about the game is awesome except for the weak ass endings. Seriously, Torque (main character) is going through all of this hell and we’re only given a 1 minute ending?! Oh, I’ve also, I can’t believe I’m admitting this, have gotten back intoStarCraft. It’s so bad. I hate myself for it.
Chad Concelmo:Rogue GalaxyandMario Party 8have pretty much been the only things I have gotten my hands on this week. Oh, and I sawKnocked Up. I know that has nothing to do with video games, but it is so f-in’ good that I thought it deserved mentioning.
Y tu?
(Editor’s Note: Nex panders to our Latino audience out of spite for our Alaskan audience.)
