To whom it may concern,
It has come to my attention that the smoke detectors in the lavatories are made entirely out of Papier-mâché. While they make for decorative and festive accoutrements in an otherwise sterile restroom environment, it’s entirely possible that they would fail to perform their primary function in the event of a fire.
Professionally,
Dr. Nex PhD
The Cherokee believed that fire was the living embodiment of the emotions of dragonflies and their loved ones, weeping from beyond the grave. They also believed in all the lies told to them by a destiny manifestin’ US government. Really makes you think, huh?
While you were busy thinking about Johnny Bongwater and Julie Dandelionsnaps, back in the real world, we were livingcompletelyin a virtual world! Take that you damn dirty hippies! Here’s where we’ve been all week:
Hushgush:This week it’sCatch up on projects I haven’t had time for. The controls are clunky, but it’s got decent graphics and the soundtrack kicks ass.
AlsoForza 2.
Nick “Brutal” Chester:Planet Puzzle League,Mortal Kombat: Armageddon Wii,Shadowrun(360),Fallout 2,Spider-Man 3(360), and when I get around to opening the package,Forza 2.
Next question.Jim Sterling:I’ve finally got my Xbox 360 woes sorted out, ending the long griping sessions that much of the Dtoid community have had to endure, so I’ve been snatching little snippets of a variety of games. Been digging into Xbox Live Arcade with someBoom Boom RocketandWormsaction, plus been getting into a littleNinety Nine NightsandCommand & Conquer 3, although the former keeps giving me disc read errors, the wankburger. Capping it off, I picked upCrackdowntoo, which I am sure to have played before this gets posted.
(There, that shouldn’t have been sent to just Nick. He has no use for such information UNLESS HE MONITERS MY EVERY WAKING MOVE!)Niero:I went on ebay this week and picked up one of those Gameboy Advance adapters for my Gamecube, which lets me playZelda: Minnish Capon my big screen. Its like having a brand new somewhat blurry Super Nintendo! I also created a fake Japanese account on my PS3 and go to try theweird cat game(hopeless) andFolksSoul, which is gorgeous and short like most Asian women.Nex:This last week has been a spiritual journey to the center of my gaming one-ness. Like Jack Nicholson inEasy Rider, I was forced to wear a football helmet through most of the ordeal, but, in the end, children thirty years from now will look back on the last week and think “wow! I had no ideahewas in this!”
And other then the requisiteWorld of Wacraft, I managed to beatEarth Defense Force 2017. If you’re expecting stunning cinematics at the end, you haven’t been paying very good attention.David Houghton:Mario Strikers, all the way. It’s an unholy three-way marriage between football,NBA Jam, andSuper Mario Kart, and I love it as if I’d given birth to it myself. As a result I haven’t played anything else since I got it. Not a single game.
Dick McVengeance:Since I’m finally done withSuper Paper Mario, that means my plate will now be filled withPhoenix Wright: Justice for All,Cooking Mama(DS), andRed Steel. A collection that can only be summed up as “good times for all.”
Chad Concelmo:I tend to play only one game until I beat it (ya’ know, I attempt to savor the story and all that crap) so I am still working onRogue Galaxy(PS2)Cheated a little bit this week, though, with the amazing distraction that isPlanet Puzzle League(DS).
Ron Workman:On the 360,Overlord,Halo 3, that car game, damn, I can never remember the name. That new car game in the Arcade! I am to lazy to look it up, but I really like it. I have been doing cheezeballz. Thats cocaine and cheese btw. On the Wii,Dust collector 5000,chairs,advanced shelf stacker, andstaring at the blue light at night and wondering why I bought the damn thing part 8. On the BS3, nothing. I am waiting forMGS4. On the PC, I don’t know, pick something and add it here. Nobody really cares, do you? I just think its funny that DMV is playingRed Steel. That game is shit that was made up of other peoples shit, that shit out their shit, and made more shit. Understand?
Orcist:I’m playingFinal Fantasy IIIandPortrait of Ruinon my DS, relishing the fact that I got both of those for free. I’m also playing Why aren’t there any games in Europe? This place sucks. It’s pretty rubbish.Rev Anthony:PlayingCall of Juarezagain, andDoom 3for the first time. I don’t see what the fuss is about — it’s not remotely scary.Dyson Grigsby:Well, nothing to exciting to report. I’m still working on finishingRed Star, but for the rest of the week I’ve been rocking the retro (big surprise). I just picked up a sweet copy ofSecret of Evermorefor the SNES, but it has to wait in line until I finishFinal Fantasy III(VI). I did manage to buy an Xbox 360, but aside from someViva Pinata, I haven’t turned the machine on. Is it all just shooters on this system? Lame.
Aaron Linde:I’m done with school — nay, with college as a whole, God damnit! — so I’m finally getting back to all the games that I’ve been meaning to play. Or trying to, anyway. Trouble is we’ve got reviews on the way forPlanet Puzzle League,Shadowrun, andCrushon the way, so I’ve gotta dedicate myself to those almost exclusively to make sure I can do ’em justice. And standing in my way of that isPac-Man CE, which is too awesome for words, no matter what Nex says.(Editor’s Note: Nex is infallible. If you thought your god was awesome, just wait until Nex starts turning stuff into wine and raining dead monkeys on your house. — Someone other than Nex)
Colette Bennett:Still hammering away atPuzzle Quest, also picked upWarioware:Touched!andBrain Age.ALL I PLAY ARE DS GAMES.Gameboi:Forza 2is still the teacher’s pet, but I’ve managed to squeeze in some time withShrek the Third,The Incredibles: Riser of the Underminer(which is a great co-op beat em up, by the way), andTomb Raider Anniversary. I still plan on trying out thatShadowrungame I keep hearing so much about, but so far it’s a no go. I’m also pretending to be a responsible adult, but it’s hard.
Whoops! Also forgot to mentionCooking Mamafor the Wii. I tried to like this game, I really did. However, the controls sucked majorly, and I’m ecstatic that it was only a rental. I hope the DS version is much better.
This is the end, my only friend, the end.
Now go write about what you’ve been playing! We aren’t paying you to suck face under the bleachers!
