Guys, I’d love to spend an hour crafting a deep, engaging story about why my hair hurts this week, but honestly I’m too absorbed inAssassin’s Creedto give this whole thing much thought. One of the true joys of a gig like this is that instead of half-assing your work because you’re fictionally sick, you can just honestly say “I’m half-assing things because I have to go run across a series of rooftops, dive into a bale of hay, then emerge to stab an Arabic warlord in the neck.”
The only way the game could be better if it was actually an adaptation ofLéon. As much as I’ve always been a vocal opponent of pedophilia, nothing goes better with wholesale slaughter than sexual tension with a 12-year-old Natalie Portman (double points if she’s covered in grime). I’ve been e-mailing Ubisoft daily with my plot ideas forAssassin’s Creed 2, but after I sent the storyboards for the, uh, “romantic interlude”, I think they got a little creeped out.
I never should have included that duck …
Whoever decided to put a tilde over the “n” in the word Piñata is a dick.
Hamza “CTZ” Aziz:Been catching up onHalo 3on Live. I’m so erectionally happy that my 360 is back!
Topher Cantler:I’ve been switching the bad English voice acting back to the original Japanese track inEternal Sonata(<3 to Lauren), then playingSuper Mario Galaxy, Contra 4,and I would be playing someRock Bandif Nick’s review copy wasn’t oh-so very late.
Jim Sterling:As predicted it hasn’t changed from last week. I have completed the single player ofCoD4, beatenPortaland crowbarred my way throughHalf-Life 2andEpisode One. Still fighting throughBladestorm: The 100 Years WarandDynasty Warriors Gundam.
BlindsideDork:Shooting some zombies inResident Evil: Umbrella Chroniclesmostly. I can’t wait to try outHalf Life 2: Episode 2. Of course, the usualPicross DShas been thrown in the mix but I haven’t picked upDementium: The Wardin awhile since the hiccup that is the save feature.
Nick Chester:This week, I played quite a bit ofRock Band, before picking upAssassin’s CreedandSuper Mario Galaxy. I also haveBlacksite: Area 51,Neves(DS), andAqua Teen Hunger Force Zombie Ninja Pro-AMin my back pocket. Times are tough.
Faith:I’ve been playingBrain AgeandDragon Quest Monster: Jokeron my Nintendo DS. This game is such aPokémonrip off.I’ve also been playingShrek and RollandPuzzle Queston XBLA. I played the demo ofOverlordand now I totally want this game.On my Wii, I’ve been playingBoogieandEA Playground. I hope to pick upResident Evil: Umbrella Chroniclestoday too.
Dale North:The nonconformist in me wants to loudly say that I’m playing anything that doesn’t have a plastic guitar in it, but I know there’s some big fans around these parts, so I’ll stop here. Like a true G (geek), I’m still playingJeanne D’ArcandPersona 3, andPhantom Hourglasshas just made its way into my rotation.
Colette Bennett:Lifesigns, Ontamarama, Puyo Puyo 15th AnniversaryandSuper Mario Galaxy. While all the games are good,Galaxyis an actual delight to play. I can’t remember the last time I laughed out loud in delight when playing a game. It’s wonderful.
Nex:I’m falling in love with my PSP (Slim) all over again. As much as I ragged on it for months over the lack of software, it’s finally catching up to the DS. BetweenDracula X Chronicles(which I just completed),Metal Gear Solid Portable Ops Plus, the insanely underratedMegaMan: Powered Up($10!!) andDisgaea: Afternoon of Darkness, I’ve spent a lot of time this week wondering how I could turn it into a woman for procreation.
Also, despiteRev’s review, I picked upAssassin’s Creedyesterday. It’s got minor technical flaws, but otherwise that was the best 60 bones I’ve spent sinceGuitar Hero III. Take the open-world freedom ofGrand Theft Auto, the joy of merely running and jumping found inCrackdown, and the fun in methodical killing found inHitman, wrap it all in a trés original double-plot line exploring the Crusades and Futuristic morality, and you’ve got a game that I’m going to be playing for months.
Almost forgot, I also playedRock Band, Mario GalaxyandContra 4, but those apparently didn’t warrant a mention.
Leigh Alexander:Aside from just startingFire Emblem, lazy Leigh has had a strictly portable week — still smashing my head againstDracula Xon the PSP, just startedYs: Ark of Napishtim, and am also playingPhantom Hourglassstill. There’s a ton of things I wish I was playing, but despite being a FAMOUS INDUSTRY TASTEMAKER who has a legion of orphans bringing me truffles and petits fours on gilded plates just so they can hear what I think of video games or perhaps to beg for their freedom, I mysteriously did not receive review copies of almost anything good in the past few weeks.
Chad Concelmo:I have played nothing else besidesSuper Mario Galaxy. I even have the sexyContra 4sitting on my nightstand, but I have denied its passionate company for more time with my new favorite Wii game. In fact, this may be the only “Games of the Week” where I will ever be able to talk aboutGalaxy, so I don’t want to waste a single line of text:SUPER MARIO GALAXYIS ONE OF THE BEST GAMES I HAVE PLAYED IN YEARS! IT IS INCREDIBLE! I LOVE IT MORE THAN DOLPHINS!Brad Rice:Silent Hill Origins,bitches. My PSP is getting plenty of love between that,Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness, andJeanne D’Arc. I really need to stop buying tactics RPGs — I’m never going to have a life otherwise.Oh, some shit calledGalaxycame out, right? Nah, didn’t touch that.
Ron Workman:Catan, 99 Nights, take pictures of Nex through the window that he thinks has good blinds, andViva Piñata:Party Animals.
Tristero:As much as I appreciate our beloved David’s parting gift to me ofCliff Notesto theHalf-Lifeuniverse, the instantSuper Mario Galaxycame out, I dropped Alyx like yesterday’s dirty laundry. I knew I wouldn’t need anything else besides Mario the moment I heard Charles Martinet screech out the title from the Wii menu. Does anyone else think it sounds like he’s been hitting a bit of the Juniper Jizz lately? Homeboy was most definitely crunk when he recorded that.
Dyson:I’ve been playingContra 4DS for review, along with a whole lot ofSuper Mario Galaxy, which has seriously cut into myContra 4time (sorry Aaron!). I’ve been desperately hoping for some free time so I can download and playBlue’s Journeyfor the Virtual Console.Blue’s Journeyholds a special place in my heart for being that one game that, if I had been an incredibly wealthy teenager, I would have bought a Neo Geo for.
Gameboi:I’ve been toying around withCoD4andAssassin’s Creed, butSuper Mario Galaxyhas flat out floored me. I’ve barely scratched the surface of the game, and it has wowed me in ways that I haven’t felt sinceSuper Mario 64. It’s dreamy. If you somehow don’t manage to like this game, I have to call your taste into question.
How many of you went gay forGalaxythis week? My guess: all of you.
