The weekend has begun, and you know it because we’re posting nonsense suchas this. The ESRB has kindly rated Southpeak’s upcoming action titleX-Blades, a game which we have consistently covered due to the main character’s lack of clothes. We’re not the only ones to have noticed the garment situation, however, as the ESRB has taken significant notice of Ayumi’s cleavage and “narrow thong.”
“Red blood splashes are emitted from creatures that are attacked by swords, and dark blood stains remain on game environments for a brief period of time,” states part of the ESRB report. “The player’s character is depicted in a provocative outfit (e.g., bikini top and narrow thong), while cameras can be angled so as to zoom and pan across cleavage and posterior regions.”
The game is rated Mature, and we believe it is not due to the violence, butpurelythe fault of angled cameras zooming and panning across posterior regions. God damn those zooming posteriors!
I love the way these things get written. The very fact that someone had to take note of that andseriouslydiscuss the ability to move a camera over a videogame character’s arse makes me chuckle. The ESRB is only doing its job here, but I do hope that sometimes these game raters sit back and think to themselves: “What the f*ck did I just write?”
