Say what you will about wanting your videogame press-type folks to be objective, I don’t think now is the time for me to even feign objectivity — I want Epic’s and People Can Fly’sBulletstorm, and I want it now. I want it streamed into my system intravenously. I have three cats and I’m going to rename them all “Bulletstorm” starting now. You get where I’m going with this.
I knew that we were going to have a “thing” going after I played it at E3 earlier this year. The promise of being able to kick a man into a cactus or get points for doing something called a “Gang Bang” was fully realized, much to my pleasure. At gamescom this year, Epic’s Tanya Jessen came out and start blathering on about how there’s a new weapon that will allow you to literally melt faces or something. Melt. Faces. Then it happened: I fell in love.
So look, Epic and People Can Fly — don’t fk this one up. Because I’m putting my ass on the line here by slobbering all over this game, I only have so many veins to tap, and I’m confusing the st out of my cats. Don’t let me down.
Bulletstormis out next year for PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, and PC.
