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Platformance: Castle Painwas rather fun for what it is. You moved your way through a large level, checkpoint by checkpoint, and it was enough of a one-off experience that you didn’t feel bad about dropping a buck on the full version. For the sequel, it’s not simply going to be the same ol’ knight saving a princess. Rather, you play as a ’40s heroic manly man trying to save famed Hollywood starlet Grace Belly from certain doom in a Peruvian jungle....

– Do you peoplereallywant a Sportstoid podcast?Really? –Adam Dork’s Podtoid soundboard – We retrospect the hell out of everything – Why the hell is Topher on this podcast – Samit is the new Tiff This week’s swag bag goes toOkstuke, because I couldn’t pronounce his name and tried to excuse it with a racist comment.

This afternoon, PopCap Games updated their Steam version ofPlants vs. Zombieswith twelve achievements. TheSteam Achievementsaren’t exactly easy to obtain — many will require deep concentration (reach 20 flags in Survival Endless) and the dismissal of all things social (re: Grow the Tree of Wisdom to 100 feet.) Here’s the full list: Home Lawn Security:Complete adventure mode.Morticulturalist:Collect all 49 plants.Towering Wisdom:Grow the Tree of Wisdom to 100 feet.Nobel Peas Prize:Get the golden sunflower trophy....

Because “Master of Puppets” wouldn’t be the same without it, Activision and GameStop have teamed up for abumpingpre-order offer. Every reserve copy ofGuitar Hero: Metallicais shipping with an extra Guitar Hero: Foot Pedal and splitter. Novice players eager to jam like Ulrich will have to step up their game. The bonus pedal is only used in Expert Plus drum mode. Don’t dispair, newbies. We hear that a combination of Red Bull and hard drugs is a sufficient substitute for drumming talent....

Television pundits and politicians may claim that videogames allow you to virtually rape women, but really, only a certain few games do that, and they remain in Japan. Comerevel in the irony, then, of TV Judge Greg Mathis and his newStreet Judgegame, which will feature all sorts of sexy prison rape. “The main difference between our game andGrand Theft Autois that players will have to deal with the justice system and consequences for their actions,” explains Mathis....

A batch of new screenshots forProfessor Layton and the Mask of Miraclehave arrived and they look like screenshots for aProfessor Laytongame. More than half of these could have been taken directly out of the trailer we’ve previously seen, but there are a few new nuggets in here. I have been playing this series with the woman when we travel, so it’s taken some time to make real progress but I’m pretty sure the carnival atmosphere is going to eliminate this one from consideration....

I had my hopes up forPrototypeeven when everyone said it looked lame, and hopefully my hopeful hopes aren’t rewarded with hopelessness. Ourglimpse of it in action at CESwas promising, but glimpses often are. Anyway, the news is that Radical Entertainment is willing to hype the everbloody stuffing out ofPrototype, and that a comic book tie-in is on the way. It’s scheduled for April, and will come from the pens of Writers Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray, along with comic book illustrator Darick Robertson....

If you end up with too much Christmas money and you’ve drunk so much wine that your brain hasliterallydisintegrated, then you might be in a prime position for Sony’s latest ill-advised venture — premium avatars. Yeah, those little pictures that are next to your PSN name that nobody cares about? Sony wants tochargefor those f*ckers. LittleBigPlanetis the first game to try and suck a little extra cash from you. They’re on the European PlayStation Store for 20p a picture, and the US equivalent will cost about 49 cents....

Besides being super pumped forBorderlandsat all times — which, who can blame him? — Gearbox president and founderRandy Pitchfordhas a few negative things to say about Steam, the digital download service that almost never seems to get slammed for anything. Speakingwith Maximum PC, he says Valve ought to split off of Steam. “It would be much better if Steam was its own business. There’s so much conflict of interest there that it’s horrid....

Two fantastic PlayStation One era games are availableon the PlayStationNetwork Store this week.Resident Evil 2andLegacy of Kain: Soul Reaverare both up for grabs for the low price $5.99 each. Resident Evil 2is the bestResident Evilgame right afterResident Evil 4. The story, the atmosphere, the G-Virus creatures — the game was a thing of beauty.Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaveris also good, but the game was so confusing to play. I just remember having an extremely hard time trying to get through the game when it originally came out....

Happy not-quite-Friday, listeners. This week we recorded our audio commentary track forThe Wizard. Hopefully you’ve been able to obtain a copy of the film, otherwise this is going to be the most boring and confusing episode you’ve ever listened to. If you have, you can sync up with us after the first half of the podcast and watch the movie along with us,MST3K-style. Highlights this week include:

Hey everybody! Sorry everything is so late today. Dear ol’ Dyson couldn’t make the show last night, so I didn’t get my usual eight hour head start on exciting sound editing! But they say better late then never, right? Anyway, since I wasn’t on the show, I really don’t have any of the highlights my friend Ben tells me he likes so much. To keep him happy, and to contradict something I heard while editing, I’ll give you this lonely little highlight....

Surprise! We’re recording a day early. Shocking, right? Kind of like cracking open your chocolate easter egg and finding this flesh-eating Peep inside, waiting to pick your bones clean. Don’t front, you know Peeps are evil. Watch, now the Peep fanboys will come out of the woodwork and call me “arrogant” for stating the fact. Anyway, tomorrow is Easter, and as you might imagine, we’ll be busy doing what it is people do on Easter: fighting off hordes of flesh-eating Peeps....