This week, the Virtual Console gets one amazing game and one game that shouldn’t even be called a game. Luckily, that amazing game isSuper R-Typeso it totally makes this week an awesome week.

From the NES days, Nintendo brings back a game that sounds like a sexual position.Spelunker(NES, 1 player, 500 Wii Points)is an adventure game where you explore caves in your goal to find an underground pyramid for treasures. You collect items along the way while avoiding dangers such as bats taking shits on you. Oh, and the game can be beaten inaround five minutes.

Hell is Us gameplay reveal

Second Virtual Console release of this week isSuper R-Type(SNES, 1 player, 800 Wii Points).It’sR-Type, I don’t need to say a damn thing about this game. Just buy it. You’ll thank me.

Now,R-Typealone should definitely warrant five out of five sharks. However, the fact that Nintendo is selling a game that can be beaten faster than it takes to download causes me to take away two sharks. So three out of five sharks this week. The PR, that none of you cares about, is after the jump.

Black Ops 6 Season 5 Multiplayer Ransack Mode

Wii-kly Update: Two New Classic Games Added to Wii Shop Channel

Are you afraid of the dark? If so, this is a great week to face your fearswith a pair of eerie new game offerings on Nintendo’s Virtual Console™. Onewill plunge you deep underground to navigate perilous caves, while the otherputs you on the front lines of a darkly sinister space war. In either case,your frights will give way to serious fun.

Tekken Tag Tournament 2: a black and white Jin and Heihachi stand back-to-back.

Nintendo adds new games to the Wii™ Shop Channel at 9 a.m. Pacific time everyMonday. Wii owners with a high-speed Internet connection can redeem WiiPoints™ to download the games. Wii Points can be purchased in the Wii ShopChannel or at retail outlets. This week’s new games are:

Spelunker™ (NES®, 1 player, Rated E for Everyone, 500 Wii Points): Wanderthrough miles of uncharted caves in search of the legendary undergroundpyramid and its vast treasures. To complete your adventure, you will swingfrom ropes and ladders, run across unstable terrain and down ravines, operateelevators, mining carts and rafts. You will collect keys, bombs, flares,jewels, sacks of gold coins and other valuable items as you navigate thehazardous terrain. But beware of the scalding steam vents, poisonous bats andthe avenging spirits of dead spelunkers that lurk in every corner of thismassive underground labyrinth.

PEAK Bing Bong plushie

SUPER R-TYPE®  (Super NES®, 1 player, Rated E for Everyone — Mild FantasyViolence, 800 Wii Points): A galactic battle begins. The BYDO Empire of mutantextraterrestrials is back with evil intent and awesome power. Now the evilempire is poised to launch a new attack on Earth. Only the revolutionary R-9,the planet’s most advanced form of defense, stands between these monsters anddoom. Fight through seven challenging stages—picking up power-up items as youprogress—on the way to each stage’s memorable boss. Is the BYDO Empireinvincible? You’ll need lightning reflexes, intuitive moves and a big dose ofcosmic luck to hold your own. Better prepare yourself, because the mutants “R”ready for you.

Silent Hill f: a woman’s face covered in blossoming but deadly looking flowers.

Mei NERF gun in OW2

Battlefield 6 vehicles combat

Several men standing and watching at an explosion in the distance in Battlefield 6.

BO7 key art

yordles animation still image