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Well, you’re captain of your neighborhood bowling team, and now you’re teaching your tennis instructor a thing or two. No one wants to meet you in a dark alley because your boxing chops are second-to-none, and you’re not fat anymore because you’ve been working on your balance. What’s next? Stealing crap. JoWood and Dreamcatcher have announced that they will be bringingSafecrackerto the Wii this Fall. This adventure-puzzler puts you in the role of an expert safecracker, hired by a wealthy family to crack their dead relative’s 35 safes....

Good news everybody! Suda51’s next adventure in weirdness,Lollipop Chainsaw, will see the light of day outside of Japan! Warner Bros Interactive Entertainment will be putting outLollipop Chainsawin the United States, United Kingdom, Spain, Italy, Germany and Australia on the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. As for Japan, new publisher Kadokawa will be taking care of publishing for both consoles as well. That’s not all! The officialLollipop Chainsawwebsite has goneup. As of this writing, only the Japanese site is operational and gives us a look at main heroine, Juliet Starling....

Never would I have combined the two random thoughts to come up with the idea of a Blizzard-themed theme park. It doesn’t quite compute in my head, but the more I think about it, the more I like it. Of course, if there was to be a Blizzard theme park, it would have to be somewhere in Asia. How about the Wunjin district, and how about an opening date of March 2011....

Xbox Live Arcade is getting two games this week:Wing Commander Arena(800 MP) andSuper Contra(400 MP). After havingBomberman Livecome out last week, many of us aren’t going toneedto buy any more XBLA games for a while — but that won’t stop us from throwing our cash at Konami in return for some sweetContraco-op action (assuming there are no online issues). Gamerscoreblogbrings us the following game details: Wing Commander Arena: • The first Xbox LIVE Arcade title featuring multiplayer gameplay for up to 16 players over Xbox LIVE• Four gameplay modes: Single Player, Multiplayer Team, Free for All, and Duel• Players can choose from 18 different ships that can be customized with cloaking devices, mines, energy weapons, missiles and more!...

Indie developer Jonathon Blow, creator ofBraid, is still guarding the secrets of his next title dubbedThe Witness. Just like late 2009, the only meaningful details we know are that it’s an“an exploration-puzzle game on an uninhabited island.”But the creator has opened up anew Web sitededicated to the game and plans to share dev insights, as well as drop a few details. For those of us who like to live in the immediate, he did have something to share in the second post on the blog:numerous concept imagesfrom a game that seems a whole hell of a lot likeMystwithout proper context....

If you paid attention to all the X10 news that broke out yesterday, you’d noticeLeft 4 Dead(both of them!) is receiving all sorts of new updates. Between a comic book, an awesome-sounding return to the original game with new downloadable content, and “The Passing” forLeft 4 Dead 2, there is a ton ofLeft 4 Deadcontent coming out by April. From all of my talking with Valve representatives, expectLeft 4 Deadto live on in this manner, with DLC and patches....

Many Xbox Live Arcade owners are stuck in a rut. The console doesn’t come with a hard drive, which means demos and large trailers are out of the question. Secondly, owners apparently don’t have access to Xbox Live – which almost invalidates their purchase of console, doesn’t it? In response to this, Microsoft is tossing out an Xbox Live Starter Pack, designed to fit all the needs of an Xbox owner wanting to get in on this whole Internet “thing....

One minute is all you get in the latest trailer forTrackmaniaWii. But it seems like 60 seconds is all you’ll need to decide if this is right for you, especially if you’re fond of the PC version. According to the PR blast sent out this afternoon,TrackmaniaWii boasts over campaign 200 tracks — “divided into six environments” — and will have a track editor that you can use to make your own crap, and then share that said crap with your friends via the Internet (in addition to racing against pals, too....

3D is never simple, is it? First it was crappy blue and red glasses, then it’s specially designed theaters and now that the 3DS is bringing us glasses-free 3D the issue becomes health concerns for those who can’t handle 3D.Nintendo’s responseto the issue is simple: they’re allowing us to turn off the 3D on their upcoming handheld. While this sounds like a simple and obvious solution it really raises some questions....

Don’t expect zombies to appear inCall of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. As explained by lead multiplayer designer Todd Alderman at a recent press event, Infinity Ward isn’t down with breaking their game’s fiction with the inclusion of otherworldly creatures or objects. It simply isn’t what Infinity Ward wants to do with this game, he said, but the studio is open to it in the future (with a different game, silly)....

On top of busting out the new“talking” Boomer plush toy, theLeft 4 Dead 2blog teamalso announced this week’s Mutation: Bleed Out. According to the post, this mode essentially turns the survivors into milk jug with tiny holes in the bottom. As you play you’ll steadily lose health. Precious health packs won’t be available either, so you’ll need to pop pills and shoot Adrenaline in order to survive. If that sounds good, and you’ll be around this weekend, you might be able to get into a match with the Valve crew....

Despite offering several boxed sets and a single pre-order edition ofDragon Age: Originsthat all included most of the game’s day-one DLC, Bioware and EA still made a good bit of coin through individual digital purchases. At a recent presentation at BMO Capital Markets, an EA exec revealed that the DLC has generated over one million bones. G4TVwas there and caught Brown’s words: “Dragon Agejust launched a week ago,” EA’s CFO Eric Brown told an audience, “it’s doing very well....

Welcome friends, to the fifth chapter of A Guide To Reconizing Your Gamers, your invaluable helper in spotting the many varied gamer sub-genera prevalent in today’s videogaming experience. As gaming has spread as an activity over the years, the types of people involved in it have become ever more varied and eclectic, with increasingly different tastes and circumstances bringing about a vast collection of approaches and attitudes towards the activity....