A guy trying to touch a girl while she sleeps.Super busty elf with laser staff. And a dumb anime bitch leaning in to get her head bit off by a domesticated velociraptor in a spaceship (above)? Wow, the newStar Oceanlooks f*cking awesome! So we totally don’t know what’s going on here in the screenshots. All we know is thatjust like the trailer, these screens from Square Enix’s upcoming Xbox 360 titleStar Ocean: The Last Hope(March 3rd release date) look fantastic....

New Super Mario Bros. Wiiis on the fast track to becoming one of the best-selling games of all time. Less than three months after release, the game has already moved more than nine million copies worldwide, and shows little sign of slowing down. Among other things, that means that the game’s two new characters, “Blue Toad” and “Yellow Toad,” are quickly becoming two of the series’ most well-known characters. But these two still don’t have any officially sanctioned names....

Wii shortages have turned up everything frominsanely overpriced auctions on Ebayto lines waiting for retailers’ Wii shipments to arrive, but this is some seriously unacceptable news. The folks at the Lilac Plaza Retirement Home had been saving money from the sale of recipe books to purchase a Wii for the seniors’ use. They succeeded and purchased one, only to have it stolen this past weekend. GoNintendoposted the original story and plans to buy a Wii and send it to the home to replace the stolen console....

All you have to do to get a shot at winning one of these swag packs is post a picture or a video of yourself in the comments that somehow represents the wordrevolution(if you do a video, just pop a link in your comment and a quick description of your video). Whether that means you burning a bra, picketing the lawn of a much-hated corporate headquarters or streaking at the Oscars, it’s up to you....

A few months back,we caught wind of a weird new government projectwhen the United States Air Force bought up 300 PlayStation 3 consoles. One of those sites that tracks the government’s every move told us that they were working on something called codenamed “Roadrunner,” though no other details were given.We tried to guesswhat they were doing with these, but it looks like some of us were a bit off base....

Last week’s big E3 “return to form” saw more than a few celebrities poking their heads around the Los Angeles Convention Center. I ran into Eliza Dushku while checking out a demo of Bethesda Softwork’sWET, for instance; theDollhouseactress is providing the voice of the game’s main character, Rubi. I also ran into a member of the Wu-Tang Clan, Raekwon the Chef (note: I can’t personally vouch for his culinary expertise), at Capcom’s cocktail mixer for their upcoming title,Dark Void....

Over one million of you voted, and now the results for the third annual Xbox LIVE Arcade Awards are in. To make this reveal a little more exciting, try to picture Mr. Destructoid heroically tearing open a massive envelope to unveil the winning games. Got it? Good — here they are: Why yes, MGS and EA know a thing or two about putting out a quality digital product on Xbox 360....

I guess I’m happy because I identify with Luigi more than Mario. He’s…not fat, and I think he has a better fashion sense. He doesn’t always get the spotlight but he’s integral to the Bros. successes. Kind of stupid? Sometimes, but he’s got a lot going on upstairs that he doesn’t always show. Luigi has been my boy ever sinceSuper Mario Bros 2, where his twinkle toes action kept me afloat and out of a lot of spike traps and pits....

Tired of using electrified katanas, burning axes and exploding knives to execute the zombies ofDead Island? You might want to try this PC mod, as it allows you to finish off the horde using the mystical art of Hokotu Shinken — as practiced by Kenshiro inFist of the North Star. With lightning-fast punches that send zombies flying, theFist of the North Starmod looks like a lot of fun, and might be worth checking out....

Those evil masterminds at From Software are givingDark Soulsplayers the ability to grief one another in a most dastardly fashion. It’s in the game, so it’s fair! Unless it happens to you, naturally. The Pyromancer can summon a Gravelord in another player’s world — he’ll be placed at random in the environment, and until he’s done away with, NPCs will hunt your victim down and dish out serious pain. The best part?...

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: seemingly the only games I play on PSP anymore are the ones that make no sense out of context, and make even less sense with it. Who’s the Super Baby? Sounds important! Z.H.P.: Unlosing Ranger vs. Darkdeath Evilmanis getting an October 26 release on PlayStation Network and UMD, according to NIS America. Splendid news, indeed. If you haven’t seenthe game’s traileryet, do yourself a favor — it’s one of the best in a long time....

Zeit2, originally a student project and now a full-fledged release published by Ubisoft, has just arrived on Xbox Live Arcade. you’re able to download it now for 800 MS points. With a time-manipulation mechanic on its side, it certainly has some cool things going for it. Jonathan Holmes had a chance to try the game outback in Septemberand quite liked it. I think I’ll be giving this one a download myself....

Theofficial Web sitefor Techland’s upcoming Xbox 360 and PC-bound survival horror,Dead Island, has been updated with a few new images of the game. While these screens are nice and all, especially when you consider the fact thatDead Islandis an open-world game, it’s a shame they don’t show off the game’s awesome damage model. The release date for the game is still TBA 2008, so it’s entirely possible thatDead Islandwill make it to retail beforeLeft 4 Dead, which comes out in November of this year....