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I’ve professed my adoration and respect forDavid Jaffemany, many times. He’shonest,outspoken, and usuallydead onwhen it comes to his opinions on the gaming industry — something he and Destructoid share in common. Such is the case with his latest rant that hits reallyclose to homefor a fewof usthat have been burned by the dickery caused by AOL Joystiq. Excuse me Trey Parker and Matt Stone, butyou guys said this best: See, there’s three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes....

Yeah, you should take that title with a huge grain of salt. Because, in an effort to create a new and vaguely recurring article here at the ‘toid, I proposed to the staff that we discuss a random topic in our internal emailer and put it out for all to see. (Our internal emails are legendary, by the way.) I made the suggestion that our first topic be about the newSSFII Turbo HDRemixbeta that recently hit XBLA....

Welcome to the end of the week everybody (or the beginning of the week to you foreigners)! What were your favorite stories of the past week? TheA-kon coverageon Japanator has been really good. I love looking at all of the cosplayers, especially this smoking hotFaye Valentine cosplayer. The story about how the people of London think Wi-Fi causes radiation on NextLust really riled my jollies up. Good old chaps in London are funny....

My formative years were in the golden era of arcade sports games. You didn’t have to give a damn about sports to enjoy the endless fun of early-90s classics likeSuper Baseball 2020andMutant League Football; mid-90s masterpieces such asNBA Jam; and late-90s/early-2000s hits likeWayne Gretzky’s 3D Hockey ’98andNFL Blitz 2000. Of course, as consoles became more complicated — both in the quality of their visuals and the number of buttons on their controllers — sports gamers thirsted for ever more realistic experiences....

We had the distinct pleasure to get some time behind closed doors with developer Rebellion, who gave us a first look at theAliens vs. Predatorsingle-player mode for the Marines. This was the thing I was looking forward to seeing the most at E3, and it has to be said that I did not come away disappointed with what I saw. Set 30 years after the events of Alien 3, the story tells a tale of a discovered Predator pyramid on a Weyland Yutani colony, chock full of Xenomorph eggs....

You may have seen so-called “journalist” Jordan “Baby Ginger” Devore claim yesterday thatKonami won E3because of their ridiculous press conference. Some of you may have thought he was kidding, but poor Jordan is actually really excited by wan mirrion troops and dancing games (bless his heart), and has been talking incessantly all week about how he’s buying all those games day one. If Jordan had bothered to, you know, actually do research, he would have found that Ubisoft clearly has a stronger line-up....

And they are having an AMAZING time! Too bad I am not having nearly as much fun watching them play. OH SNAP! Seriously, though: WhileKinectmay be pretty incredible technology, I am still not sold on it. I love my Wii and love things likeWii SportsandWarioWare, but something about these Kinect games don’t “kinect” with me. It also doesn’t help that the family in this video really annoys me for some irrational reason....

A complete 3D remake of theThe Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Timeis a real, actual thing Nintendo’s working on. As you might have guessed, why yes, this is yet another 3DS title to add to thealready impressive list. Unfortunately, details and images aren’t exactly happening, but we’ll be sure to beam them to your eyes when we get the chance. Ocarina of Time. In 3D. On a handheld. Why am I still talking, guys?...

I think I was one of the few people that was actually looking forward to checking outDewy’s Adventurefor the Wii at this year’s E3. Sure, the game is so ridiculously cute that it actually hurts my eyes (and ears) a little bit, but I thought the art style looked great and I was interested in checking out how the semi-original game mechanics would play out. I love platformers, especially ones that attempt to offer something new!...

Twitter is the place to be for breaking news, folks. Earlier this week, Alain Quinto, Community Manager at EA Canada,tweetedthat EA Sports is planning to reveal a brand-new game next month. There aren’t any clues yet as to what it will be, but it seems curious that the publisher is bringing out a new sports game when you consider that it haseffectively shelvedthe PS3/360 version ofGrand Slam Tennisindefinitely. Let the speculation begin!...

I know, I know. Yet another re-release ofEarthworm Jim. Even in high-definition, that prospect sounds so boring. Then you realize that it’s actually awesome, and everything is fine. Seriously though. It’s rebuilt from the ground up with gorgeous visuals, it has four-player online co-op, and it’ll boast three exclusive, never-before-seen levels. It may not be theEarthworm Jim 4that everyone wants, but it’ssomething, and that something is good. Earthworm Jim HD hits the European PlayStation Network on July 29 for €9....

A while ago, Bethesda’s parent company ZeniMaxwas spottedstumbling out of a seedy back alley bar, clutching only a bottle of gin and a domain name — elderscrollsonline.com. The Internet leapt on this with fervor, eagerly anticipating the news that it could only hope was coming — anElder ScrollsMMORPG. Guess what …the Internet was rightabout that. Bethesda’s very own Pete Hines has confirmed that yes, an MMORPG installment of the wildly popularElder Scrollsseries is on the way....

Gears of Warexecutive producer Rod Fergusson has told CVG that while Epic doesn’t have a strict target persé, they are expecting about a millionGears of War 3beta players. He said they don’t really care to beat a specific target or to reach a record number of players, but that the focus is on getting as many players as possible to yield the data to help create a better game. Data gained from a beta can be highly valuable for a company that is willing to invest in the costly process, as studios pay more and more attention to both bugs found in a beta and potential player experience issues that may arise....